Washington D. C. (Exclusive to eGrumps). President Obama has ordered the closure of the prison at Guantanamo Bay at 12:00 PM, March 31, 2009. At 12:01 AM on April 1, 2009 the former Guantanamo prison facility will be known as the Happy Acres Farm. All persons interned there (formerly known as “enemy combatants” will remain in the newly renamed facility. Except for the change of name everything else will remain in place. “This fulfills a campaign promise I made some time ago – to close Guantanamo. I hope the American people recognize that I am a man of my word and will fulfill my moral obligations to the American people. Guantanamo is closed.” President Obama said.
“Happy Acres Farm will be a shining example to the rest of the world,” he continued. “We will offer native food and religious services on a regular basis. Questioning of our guests will not take place on Ramadan. Is America not a great country?”
“We intend to have a contest in which all are eligible to enter, for a nominal fee, to select a new designation for our honored guests. ‘Enemy combatants” is not a suitable term, so we decided to use a Democratic process to select a new name. All entry fees will be used to remodel the White House. Details will be released soon.” he said.
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