Letter to the Director, CIA
Langley, Virginia

Dear Sir:

You may have read, or your agents may have told you, that there is a very severe water shortage in So. California. Water is being rationed and we will only be allowed to water our lawns two days a week, and then not between 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM.

This will have severe economic consequences for all of the gardners in this area since they cannot possibly get to each house to water during the proper days and times, and hence they will have nothing to do with their time during the other hours. They will lose income, the gardening supply houses and the nurseries will suffer, and no doubt their wives will rebel at having them home so much. This is a very severe social and economic problem.

Why am I writing you asking for your help? Well, I read in the papers that your use of waterboarding is being severely curtailed, if not prohibited outright. So – you can solve our problems and even help  give the President a reason to be proud of outlawing waterboarding, no matter how successful it has been.

Please ship us all of your waterboards, new or reconditioned, it doesn’t matter.  We can distribute them around. The drought problem of Southern California will be solved. Waterboards can be put to productive use, the use for which they were originally intended – the transporting and supplying of water through solid-state boards. If you can please send instructions as to how to liquefy the waterboards, it would be greatly appreciated.

There is no need to tell the bad guys you are disposing of the waterboards, they know how to beat the system anyhow, but it might pay to keep them guessing that you are still holding some in reserve.

Thank you for your courtesy in considering our request.

Yours very truly

(name withheld for security reasons)

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 at 7:33 pm and is filed under American policy, Armed Services, Comedy, Congress, Humor, Humor - Political, Political Satire, Political Truth, Satire, Wit. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.