On April 12, 2009, after North Korea’s first missile launch, I wrote the following:
“President Obama decided to take affirmative action against North Korea today. Expressing great admiration for the United Nations for planning to adopt a “presidential statement” on Monday condemning North Korea for their missile launch, he has ordered 100,000 paper copies of the U N Statement when it is adopted. He issued the following statement: “I have ordered the United States Air Force to stand by on full alert to make paper airplanes out of the pieces of paper we have ordered from the U N. These paper airplanes will soon be launched against North Korea at a time and place of America’s choosing,” he said. “The North Koreans will be deluged with our paper airplanes which should, if my security council analysis is correct (and when have they ever been wrong), completely paralyze the whole North Korean economy. That will teach them to never again deny the United Nations. We stand ready, willing and able to carry out the mandate of the UN. This shows the value of international cooperation. The U N shall prevail”
Kim Il Sung issued the following statement. “Capitalist Pigs – we stand ready to defend the sovereign integrity of our country. We have ordered 100,000 paper shredders which, as this statement is being issued, are being deployed around the country. We have repeatedly said that America is a paper tiger, and this wholly unprovoked action by America only proves the truth of our statement. If these paper airplanes ever reach our shores, we stand ready to destroy the whole American paper air force. We shall prevail!”
May 26, 2009.
Apparently the NK chief honcho didn’t take it seriously because they successfully defeated our paper airplane attack. Now NK has shot off more missiles and tested a nuclear device. After considering the results of their last reaction to America’s actions, Pres. BHO ordered the Army, Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard, plus the Marines, (and the boy and girl scouts) to come up with a new plan. The Joint Chiefs decided the reason the old plan didn’t work was that their paper shredders overcame our paper airplanes. They concluded we needed more paper airplanes and ordered the production of 250,000 paper airplanes, this time they were to be treated with an ingredient to cause rashes and itching.. As the Chief of Staff put it, if we can’t drop a paper airplane down the air shaft of their nuclear facility, at least we will overwhelm them with shredded paper. If it should rain after our avalanche of paper airplanes, so much the better. NK will be under soggy paper which will have no use whatsoever. Our intelligence experts concluded that one of the reasons the first paper airplane attack didn’t work was because those that weren’t shredded were used for toilet paper – if the new ones are soggy – the results will be self-evident. If we treat the paper, and enough escape their shredders, they will develop rashes, and they will probably scratch themselves to death. American ingenuity will win the day.
President Obama stated “Public opinion be damned, America must, and will, attack — as soon as it rains.”
Recent Entries
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 at 8:00 pm and is filed under America, American policy, Armed Services, Comedy, Humor - Political, Political Satire, Satire.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.