(Columbia, South Carolina, June 30, 2009) (Exclusive to eGrumps) Mark Sanford, Governor of South Carolina, apologized today to (i) his wife and family, (ii) the people of South Carolina, and (iii) the United States Labor Department and Trade Representatives. Expressing great regret, Gov. Sanford stated how sorry he was that he had not kept jobs [...]

The definition of politics as  currently being practiced in Washington.  Politics: The art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then applying the wrong remedies.

Washington D.C., June 25, 2009 (exclusive to eGrumps) Congressperson Barney Frank (D, Mass.) now Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee has asked both Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to loosen up their lending standards for mortgages on new condominiums. It wasn’t too long ago that Congressperson Frank said he was willing to roll the [...]

(Washington D.C. June 20, 2009)(exclusive to eGrumps) The Administration, when asked at a press conference what factors they had used in determining whether America would “meddle” in the internal affairs of other countries gave a quite satsifactory explanation, they said.  Pressed as to why America has said it would not “meddle” in Iran, but apparently [...]

(Los Angeles, CA, June 15, 2009)(Exclusive to eGrumps) At a press conference held in Los Angeles, CA today, eGrumps presented his solution to the problem that is tearing apart the fabric of American society. The problem, eGrumps said, is the clash between those who favor traditional values and believe that a marriage should be between [...]

(Washington D. C., June 11, 2009) (exclusive to eGrumps) On March 14, 2009 eGrumps reported on  requiring enemy combatants to be given Miranda rights. The story (emphasis added) was as follows: “Enemy and Friendly Combatants The Obama Administration has abandoned the use of the term “enemy combatant.”  Speaking from the White House, President Obama announced [...]

(Washington D.C, June 8, 2009) (exclusive to eGrumps) President Obama has come up with a plan to satisfy The United State’s debt to China. Expressing his concern over how this debt would ever be repaid, he has come up with an ingenious solution which, he said, was a win-win solution. In complete cancellation of America’s debt [...]

(Washington, D. C., June 6, 2009)(exclusive to eGrumps) The administration proudly announced that their proposed health care plan was financially very feasible. “This plan will work” said one spokesperson (who asked for anonynimity). Those who object to the plan have not considered the plan to reduce costs by limiting, or else reducing certain procedures. While [...]

eGrumps never drinks alcohol because he doesn‘t think it right to drink in front of the children. And, when he’s away from the children, he doesn’t feel a need to drink alcohol

(Sacramento,CA, June 2,2009)(Exclusive to eGrumps) In order to help solve the severe water shortage in the State of California, the Governor announced the formation of a new Shower Pool Department (“SPD”). The SPD would function like the existing car pool department. Each person who would like to take a shower with one or more other [...]