The Obama Administration has abandoned the use of the term “enemy combatant.”  Speaking from the White House, President Obama announced that the term “friendly combatant” will now be used. “Until the secret intent of the combatant can be determined, they will presumed to be friendly,” he said. “Mere shooting at American troops will not be deemed to make the shooter an enemy. All combatants will be presumed to be friendly unless proved otherwise. Our troops have been instructed to read all captured combatants their Miranda rights before they are questioned. The Pentagon has been instructed to set up a team of lawyers, similar to the Public Defender system in use in America today, to represent the combatants.”

On June 10, 2009 the White House announced its policy to have all captured combatants read their Miranda rights.The fact these people were not American citizens, were captured in a foreign country and were taken on the field of battle is a total irrelevancy. 

A statement issued by the White House read, in part, as follows; “We feel these people should have the same rights as American criminals, like shoplifters, drunk drivers, and petty thieves.  We are all citizens of the world and we demean American values by not protecting these combatants. While in the short run, it may expose our troops and country to additional dangers, it will, in the long run show the world how fair and just we are.The short run consequences are a price we are willing to pay. We are very grateful to eGrumps for his story on March 14, 2009. He is a very wise man and we intend to consult him, in the future, for his advice. (emphasis added)”

When asked to comment, eGrumps stated as follows: “With all due respect, Mr. President - my comments were intended as a joke. The concept of reading the Miranda warning to these people will cause serious harm to our troops and our country. I WAS ONLY KIDDING”