(Columbia, South Carolina, June 30, 2009) (Exclusive to eGrumps)
Mark Sanford, Governor of South Carolina, apologized today to (i) his wife and family, (ii) the people of South Carolina, and (iii) the United States Labor Department and Trade Representatives. Expressing great regret, Gov. Sanford stated how sorry he was that he had not kept jobs at home rather than exporting them to Argentina. He realized, he said, how many women in So. Carlina with whom he could have had affairs. There was absolutely no need to seek out foreign talent, and this failure to consider the big picture of America’s trade deficit pained him deeply. I don’t think it will happen again, one of his aides said, but his staff voted 12 to 9 that it would happen again. His secretary won the pool for correctly guessing the final outcome.
While the Governor talked to the press, in the background could be heard a song playing again and again: “Don’t cry for me Argentina” from Evita.
eGrumps, at the press conference, suggested he could improve the balance of payment problem by bring a few Argentine women to the United States. In the new spirit of international cooperation, eGrumps volunteered to conduct the job interviews in Argentina. Gov. Sanford said he would get back to him shortly.
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