Congress to Arm Gulfstream Jet Airplanes Instead of Purchasing More F-22s.
Washington D.C, August 7, 2009 (Commentary by eGrumps)
The House of Representatives has decided to spend $550,000,000 to buy about 8 Gulfstream Jets (The exact number proposed is not quite clear). The Air Force had requested only 1 Gulfstream Jet. Several months ago, Congress axed the F-22 program to buy additional fighter planes. The cost of the F-22 depending on who is calculating and the methodology used, is about $550 million (+/- a little) for 3 F-22s. . For the cost of the Gulfstreams the Air Force could get 3 F-22s.
In order to compensate for this loss of capability in the Air Force, Congress has decided to arm the Gulfstreams that they are receiving. They can, conservatively, accommodate 8 machine guns, 2 canons and 14 missiles, all without substantially increasing the price, except for the cost of ammunition, a disposable item. That cost may cut into other disposables that would be used on the Congressional jets, like toilet paper, but Air Force experts considered this a good trade off. “Let them bring their own TP” was the official position.
Speaker Pelosi has stated that seemed fine to her, so long as the Congressional jets were not in use by Congress when the Air Force needed them. She saw no problem so long as the Air Force gave at least 14 days notice when they wanted them, and the Congresspeople would do their utmost to release the planes for combat duty within that 14 day window, so long as they were not unduly inconvenienced. She was sure the Air Force would understand the needs of Congress and their families.
It seemed to be, she said, a win/win situation for the Country. President Obama has signed off on the deal. His spokesperson said that so long as this doesn’t interfere with the appropriations for ACORN, the President was all in favor of it. “It’s a wonderful solution to make the Country safe, yet accommodate the needs of Congress. Is America not a wonderful Country where its government could come up with such a practical solution? Our colleges and universities continue to turn out the finest thinkers in the World. What other country, but America, could have solved this problem in such an ingenious way” the spokesperson said. “The President is so proud of the responsible way in which Congress and the Air Force cooperated to satisfy everyone’s needs.” He went on to say. The Air Force refrained from commenting.
Tags: Congress, Humor, Obama, political humor, Political Satire, Political Wit, Satire