Washington D. C., August 11, 2009 (Commentary by eGrumps)
President Obama and his Administration are taking a number of steps to educate the public and prevent misinformation from distorting the true facts about health care reform. An Administration spokesman said the President was greatly disturbed by the number of people dying on the streets, in their homes, in their offices, in the ERs and even in the hospital rooms because our health care system was broken. Concern over fiscal matters cannot interfere with the reality of this crisis. The Administration has therefore come up with a number of solutions to correct the disinformation that is poisoning the public debate.
1. Because of the large number of senior citizens (especially the very elderly in wheel chairs) that are disrupting public meetings, he has advertised on Craig’s List for paid employees to go to the meetings and make sure the seniors are silenced. Similarly he has gone to the Unions to encourage their members to go to the meetings and present the true facts to the American public, or at very least, prevent others from distorting the facts. Mob rule cannot be allowed to prevail, and the mobs of senior citizens will be no match for our democratically selected protesters – they are not mobs he stressed. He assured the American public that the supporters of the public health plan would prevail. To that end, he has requested the organizers of the town hall meetings place his people at the front of the auditoriums since they will not be misrepresenting the truth.
2. The government has set up a new web a site, called Reality Check, to tell the truth about health care reform. The comment on the site that health care reform “would not add one penny to the deficit” is the truth. The Congressional Budget Office projections, showing a rather large deficit, since it is obviously wrong, will not be mentioned on the site.
3. The President stated again that seniors in the Medicare program will not be impacted and asked them to ignore the fact that $500,000,000 will be transferred out of Medicare. Look at AARP’s endorsement, and you know how they always protect the seniors, at least they usually do.
4. The President stated that “…I don’t want the folks who created the mess to do a lot of talking. I went them to get out of the way so we can clean up the mess. I don’t mind cleaning up after them, but don’t do a lot of talking.” The public was not sure what mess he was cleaning up after, but the fact that Barney Frank and Christopher Dodd, were at least partially responsible for the subprime lending mess, and they are still actively doing something, he obviously wasn’t referring to that mess.
5. He has asked Congress to pass a law to make it illegal to wear invisible swastikas on armbands worn by senior citizens. He was concerned that Rep. Pelosi had referred to “fact” that senior citizens were wearing armbands with swastikas, and since the swastikas on the armbands didn’t really appear in the surveillance photos, they must be invisible. She must have had supernatural eyesight to see those otherwise invisible swaztikas on the arm bands. He knew she wouldn’t lie to the American people, so the swastikas on the arm bands must be there and henceforth they would be illegal.
6. He has requested that all good citizens report items of misinformation to the White House at flag@whitheouse.gov. He felt that this sytem worked so effectively in Germany and Russia for so many years, that we ought to give it a try – for a few years anyhow or at least until after the next election.
7. The Administration asked the American people to “keep the faith.” It would be a disaster if health care reform was not passed immediately. Like the Stimulus bill, disaster is only one step away, and it will happen unless the health care reform bill is passed ASAP.
8. Because of the distinct possibility that a number of doctors would retire early since their income would be cut so drastically, The President proposed a new government organization into which doctors could be drafted to serve their country. Details were being worked out.
The President referred all doubters about the possible inefficiency of the system, if the Government runs the program, to the way the government runs the Post Office and Amtrack.
Finally, he requested that all American residents (both those here legally and illegaly) to stop dying in public places since it is giving the Country a bad name, not to mention interfering with the flow of traffic
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