Undisclosed Location, 10/20/09 (Satirical comment by eGrumps)
Meeting at a secret time and at an undisclosed location by the Anonymous Selection Selectors committee (affectionately known as the ASS committee) selected their recipient of THE LEBON award. This was the first meeting of the ASS committee in recorded history, although some Members felt there must have been unrecorded history somewhere setting forth the historical origins of the ASS committee.
THE LEBON award is given each year to that individual who has done less for humanity during the preceding year. Doing nothing in the field of Mathematics, Economics, Medicine and Physics qualified any person for the award. The real determining criteria was, as published in the unwritten charter of the ASS organization, was that the nominated person must have brought no hope to civilization, including Western Civilization, Eastern Civilization, Northern Civilization and Southern Civilization, and civilizations in between.
Standing tall above all other candidates to receive THE LEBON was an individual who is a paragon of imperfection – someone who had done absolutely nothing for not only all sciences, but for all civilizations, while personifying an individual bring no hope for change (only despair), was eGrumps – the owner and creator of www.eGrumps.com and www.pithycomment.com. His selection was unanimous by the anonymous members (names and number of members withheld for security purposes) of the ASS Committee.
“I am proud and humbled by the award of THE LEBON. It is a singular honor which I accept on behalf of all of my fellow useless human beings. Hope for a change is a fruitless pursuit of limited brain power. The world already knows enough about the sciences, so why try to create something new, and further deplete the limited number of brain cells that I have. ” eGrumps said. “I will try to carry on this endeavor in future years and hope I will be considered next year for this honor. I promise to create absolutely nothing in the future and further the cause of despair, without hope for a change, among all of humanity. I want to thank my Mother and Father (both of whom refuse to admit their parentage) my beautiful wife (who refuses to admit she is married to me) and my wonderful children and grandchildren (all of whom changed their names before going to school).”"I accept THE LEBON with my customary humility and modesty.” eGrumps said.
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