Washington, D. C. October 26, 2009
Dear Csar (aka czar, aka tsar) Feinberg:
I have not had a response from you replying to my letter of October 22, 2009 which was posted on www.egrumps.com. I can only assume the duties of your office, setting appropriate pay for millions of Americans (and foreigners (legal and illegal) working in America) has not left you with enough time to respond.
Rather than wait for a reply, I decided to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, to contact you once again before you reply to my earlier letter since the playing field has changed.
I want you to know I have retracted my offer to receive $500,000 for eGrumps Enterprises, to take a $500,000 salary from that esteemed company, and pay $187,000 in income taxes to the government.
That simply would not be fair to eGrumps, eGrumps Enterprises or the USA.
I have just learned that the new Chief Financial Officer (not even the CEO) of Freddie Mac, Ross Kari will receive a pay package of a Two Million Dollar (that is $2,000,000.00) signing bonus and a salary that could top Two Million, Three Hundred Thousand Dollars (that is $2,300,000.00). I don’t know what the CEO is receiving, but I’m willing to accept the same pay package as the CFO and ignore what the CEO is getting.
If eGrumps Enterprises is paid $4,300,000, I will accept that. No haggling, that’s it – my final reasonable offer.
Based upon that pay package, I will pay 37% to the USA as income taxes, plus social security etc. The USA will receive $1,591,000 (+/-) and reduce the deficit appropriatly. That is substantially more than it could have received under my old offer, and that should further enhance your standing for the Nobel Prize in Economics. As I think about it, that should be slam-dunk for you. Start working on the speech, now. The prize will be about $1,400,000 for you personally, so I ask you, Mr. Pay Csar, how can you not send eGrumps Enterprises the $4,300,000.
Mr. Friedman, I look forward to receiving eGrumps Enterprise’s money. Please don’t forget to wire transfer it. It needs the money for payroll. Remember, eGrumps Enterprises is simply too big to fail.
Your friend and American Taxpayer,
eGrumps.
Recent Entries
This entry was posted
on Sunday, October 25th, 2009 at 9:04 pm and is filed under American policy, Humor, Humor - Political, Political Satire, Political Truth, Satire, Wit.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.