Archive for November, 2009
Thanksgiving One Line Jokes and Comments
Thursday, November 26th, 2009eGrumps, the owner of the other subprime web site, http://pithycomments.com, has generously not objected to our posting the following which we stole from him, which he, of course, stole from others.
It’s Thanksgiving – hooray!! By special dispensation from eGrumps, all diets are automatically suspended until Friday, November 27, 2009. I knew you were waiting for that before you pig out today.
Many of you who drop in to this web site are from countries other than America. I hope you’ll join us in celebrating this holiday. Like my wife said about our marriage, no matter how bad things are, they can always get worse. (That’s hard to believe, at least about our marriage. ).
eGrumps wife is a great cook. Using a new recipe his wife put the turkey in aluminum foil. She had to roast it till it was brown. Twenty hours later the aluminum foil was still silver.
An optimist is a person who starts a diet on Thanksgiving day.
Thanksgiving is America’s chow-down feast, the one occasion in the year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.
The first turkeys were not wild. They just went crazy when they found out what we intended to do with them.
Last Thanksgiving eGrumps wife cooked a turkey in the microwave oven. We had to eat at seven-thirty in the morning.
Thanksgiving is a day when the turkey gets stuffed in the morning, and the family gets stuffed in the afternoon.
The Puritans celebrated Thanksgiving day to commemorate being saved from the Indians. We continue to celebrate it to commemorate being saved from the Puritans.
After Thanksgiving dinner, the man who has trouble making ends meet ought to get himself a longer belt.
Thanksgiving is a day off that is usually followed by an off day.
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Murphy’s Laws of Sex (Continued from http://pithycomment.com) — November 23, 2009
Monday, November 23rd, 2009FOR MORE MURPHY ON SEX, GO TO HTTP://pithycomment.com – You have probably deduced that eGrumps
has been accused of being fixated on the subject of this posting, hence more of the same on the
pithycomment.com web site, his other subprime website. “Fixated” is probably too strong a work, but maybe not.
Please don’t tell Mrs. eGrumps. Fortunately she is computer illiterate (I think) and besides, she thinks I am
fixated on the subject – she should only know.
1. Nothing improves with age (except good wine).
2. No matter how many times you have had it, if it is offered, take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.
3. Sex has no calories.
4. No sex with anyone in the same office (This rule is occasionally ignored)
5. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself (This rule is also occasionally ignored.).
6. Never say no.
7. There may be some things better than sex, and somethings worde than sex. But – there is nothing exactly like it.
8. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.
Remember http:/pithycomment.com for more on this fascinating subject.
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Major Hasan – “Alleged gunman” – President Obama
Sunday, November 15th, 2009Washington, D. C. (November 15, 2009) ( Comment by eGrumps)
On November 6, 2009, Major Hassan, shouting “Allahu Akabar” opened fire with one or more weapons killing 13 and wounding about 35 more. There is no question Major Nasan was the shooter. He was gunned down in the act while holding at least one weapon in his hand.
Why is he an “alleged gunman.” He was the shooter. There is no factual argument about it.
So why does President Obama say “There is an ongoing investigation into this terrible tragedy…That investigation will look at the motives of the alleged gunman…” Why do so many others use the word “alleged.” His motives may be questioned, (Maybe he grew up as an abused youth with a drunken father, and hence his actions excused under some modern “civilized” views) (Maybe he was legally insane when he did the shooting)(Maybe he was…..(you can make that up any way you want to)) Maybe he has legal defenses as to whether or not he was a murderer. Personally, I doubt that he has any legal defenses, but that has nothing to do whether he was the gunman.
HE WAS NOT AN ALLEGED GUNMAN. HE WAS THE GUNMAN, PLAIN AND SIMPLE. So why is he called an alleged gunman? Damned if I know.
Has Political Correctness gone so far that we cannot say the truth – he was the gunman. Facts are facts.
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