Thanksgiving One Line Jokes and Comments
eGrumps, the owner of the other subprime web site, http://pithycomments.com, has generously not objected to our posting the following which we stole from him, which he, of course, stole from others.
It’s Thanksgiving – hooray!! By special dispensation from eGrumps, all diets are automatically suspended until Friday, November 27, 2009. I knew you were waiting for that before you pig out today.
Many of you who drop in to this web site are from countries other than America. I hope you’ll join us in celebrating this holiday. Like my wife said about our marriage, no matter how bad things are, they can always get worse. (That’s hard to believe, at least about our marriage. ).
eGrumps wife is a great cook. Using a new recipe his wife put the turkey in aluminum foil. She had to roast it till it was brown. Twenty hours later the aluminum foil was still silver.
An optimist is a person who starts a diet on Thanksgiving day.
Thanksgiving is America’s chow-down feast, the one occasion in the year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.
The first turkeys were not wild. They just went crazy when they found out what we intended to do with them.
Last Thanksgiving eGrumps wife cooked a turkey in the microwave oven. We had to eat at seven-thirty in the morning.
Thanksgiving is a day when the turkey gets stuffed in the morning, and the family gets stuffed in the afternoon.
The Puritans celebrated Thanksgiving day to commemorate being saved from the Indians. We continue to celebrate it to commemorate being saved from the Puritans.
After Thanksgiving dinner, the man who has trouble making ends meet ought to get himself a longer belt.
Thanksgiving is a day off that is usually followed by an off day.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Tags: funny, Humor, Jokes, Notable Quotes, Thanksgiving