The Old Fire Plug Excuse — Advice to Tiger Woods (October 11, 2009)
When the police investigated Tiger Woods accident, he should have told them the complete truth.
“Officer I was merely driving out of my driveway when this fire-plug moved directly in front of my car and ran right into the front of my car. It must have been drinking to behave so erratically. It was not my fault.”
“Look, it was not like Chappaquiddick with Ted Kennedy driving the car. There was no girl asleep in the back seat like there was when he ran his car into the water and the girl drowned. That was a real tragedy. Actually, this crazy lady was chasing me with a golf club. Maybe she scared the fire-plug.It wasn’t until some time later that I learned it was my wife chasing me with the eight-iron to tell me I had forgotten to put it in my golf bag. “
“Officer, tell me, do you think this will hurt my golf career and my product endorsements? Please be honest with me. Look what Chappaquiddick did with Ted Kennedy’s image and his desire to become President. People do exaggerate these little incidents.”
“I wonder if the company that makes Viagra needs a celebrity to endorse their product?”
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