Banker’s Salaries; Banks (Scapegoat of The Week); and Tax Increases on Banks
Washington D. C. (January 25, 2010)
Banker’s Salaries: The Administration has come up with a novel, and fair plan concerning banker’s salaries. No bank employee shall receive a salary that is greater than the amount paid to the highest paid professional athlete. If a professional athlete gets paid $35,000,000 a year for throwing a little round ball in a hoop, that’s the most that can be paid to any banker, who doesn’t even have to work up a sweat to receive the maximum amount. It’s objective, it’s fair and a great deal for America. Unlike professional athletic teams where there is a cap on the total amount that can be paid to a team’s athletes, because of the difference in the number of employees working for the various banks, there will be no salary caps per institution, unless, of course, the bankers get greedy.
Tax Increases: Despite the fact that many, many banks have repaid the TARP loans, all of them would be subject to a small tax, to expire in 2065, to make up for those banks who had not repaid their loans. When questioned about such a plan the Spokesperson said “The banks can live with it. It is perfectly fair and in the fine tradition of the American economic system – “All for one and one for all.” a phrase the Administration said, could clearly be traced back to Alexander Dumas and was the inspiration for Karl Marx, a great advocate of fairness in the economic systems of the world. It seemed appropriate under the present circumstances. Repayment of loans by some banks cannot be considered in this context. It is a total irrelevancy”
Additional Scapegoats: “The Administration” he went on to say “is considering additional Scapegoats, who also were 100% responsible for America’s economic woes. Among those being considered are the automobile industry, the insurance industry, the mortgage industry, the American Medical Association, the American Bar Association (excluding trial lawyers) the Flight Attendants Union, FOX News and the Republican Party. Congress will be excluded in considering scapegoats since the Administration feels they had nothing to do with America’s economic problems and merely reflected the will of the people.”
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