Archive for March, 2010
Tanning Salon Tax (Discrimination(?)) – Jokes, Humor & Pithy Comments (from eGrumps) – March 24, 2010Thursday, March 25th, 2010
Washington, D. C. (March 24, 2010) from eGrumps
Obamacare provides for a new 10% “tax” to be levied upon the gross receipts of tanning salons – presumably the customers would be charged an extra 10% on the cost of their “treatments.” What has not been mentioned is the racial overtones of this tax. It is undisputed that the primary customers of these salons are Caucasians, so while Blacks, or non Caucasians do use the salons, they are in a distinct minority. The Whites would be disproportionately subject to the “revenue enhancing measure” – a non-tax for those earnings less than $250,000 per year. Whoever said “Revenue enhancing measures are color blind” never heard of this “tax” on tanning salons. Frankly, this is subtle discrimination in its most insidious and obnoxious form. I submit it is a form of reverse affirmative action. (or, more properly, disaffirmative action)
More discouraging is the plan to hire 150,000 (+/-) IRS Agents to police these businesses. It is necessary to read between the lines of this measure to realize that the extra money that will be raised will be used to hire FBI Agents to oversee the IRS Agents. Any funds left over (Hah – when it comes to government “tax revenues”) will be used to hire CIA Agents to oversee the FBI Agents who are overseeing the IRS agents. Interpol also wants some money to oversee the CIA Agents who are overseeing the FBI Agents who are overseeing the IRS Agents. Is America not a free enterprise democracy, or what? This is the “Stimulus Package” at its finest – job creation!
The new slogan “Tax their hides, black, white and those in-between. The government needs the money” The Agents have been instructed to be sure and read the customers their Miranda rights, at least the IRS Agents that can read, have been so instructed.
A quick review of the Constitution shows nothing about tanning salons, so presumably it is a legal exercise of the inherent “taxing” powers vested in the Federal Government, the States Governments, the County Governments and the City Governments, not to mention Special Appraisal Districts and those other governmental entities that have “taxing” authority and that desire to squeeze extra money out of their law abiding citizens.
Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. Census Director:
Several days ago i posted about a problem with your letter (of March 2010) demanding that I sign and send in my census form immediately, despite the fact the form relates to events occurring on April 1, 2010. I expected some clarification, but alas, you have not had the common courtesy to respond. My comment about you being qualified as Director of Obamacare seems to have been quite accurate.
Now, however, the problem has been compounded. The Dept. of Census has put out TV commercials (not too entertaining, I must say) telling me to send in my census form right away. Same problem – it was March 21 that the commercials appeared, and the info requested is for April 1. I am still not able to predict the future with any degree of accuracy. I could guess, but that would probably be illegal, and I am too old to go to jail.
Please – IMMEDIATELY tell me what to do. This situation is quite stressful, as you can imagine, I think. You could be liable under tort law for the deliberate infliction of mental suffering. I may sue.
P.S. I suggest you not pay for the commercials, or if you have paid, get your money back – with interest. As a taxpayer, your conduct really tees me off .
P.P.S. Is there no end to your incompetence? One would think you work for the government. Oops – you do work for the government. Maybe that explains it, but certainly doesn’t excuse your conduct in this matter. It is very serious to advise we American citizens to break the law.
March 18, 2010:
Dear Census Director:
I trust this comment will find you in good health – both good physical health and mental health. Frankly, you have created quite a problem for me, and many others, and I don’t how how to handle it without being in violation of your instructions concerning the 2010 Census. I trust my inquiry will not interfere with your mental health, but I feel compelled to ask a question. It is based upon the following:
On March 16th I received a letter from you stating, in part (in bold type yet) “Please complete and mail back the enclosed census form today. ” Clear enough, I opened the census form, and what do I find – Question 1: “How many additional people were living or staying in this house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010.” This is creating quite a problem for me – How can I mail back the form on March 20th (as you have instructed) which says how many people are living in my house on April 1.?
I am sure there are others with similar problems, so what do I do?
Thank you, in advance, for your courtesy.
P.S. – Is it true that you are being considered for the chief operating officer for Obamacare? You seem to be well-qualified.
P.P.S. – I am concerned that all the census data will be invalid and that you will have to retake the census, or else it will be illegal. Since, as you have accurately pointed out, this is a serious document and many consequences will follow, i.e. number of congressional seats, and your figures will be based on obviously false data. What do your legal advisors say?
There was a man of great wealth
Who was in very good health.
It did not matter one whit.
He was still going to be taxed quite a bit.
Because of Obamicare’s provisions –
enacted with great stealth.
(All right, so the limerick is not quite perfect, actually it is not
even close, but you should get the message anyhow. If you have
a better last line, send it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org, and I’ll
give it all the attention it deserves. I might even give you credit, if you
want it, but I’m not sure you’d want your name associated with this site.)
California’s Official Seal to Be Changed – Great Insolvent State of California (“GISOC”) (from eGrumps)Monday, March 8th, 2010
Sacramento, CA, March 8, 2010 Exclusive to eGrumps
After Governor Arnold (also known as “The Terminator”) announced that California was broke (also known as “insolvent”), he set forth his plan to bring public awareness of the fiscal plight (also known as “blight”) of the great State of California. A spokesperson announced that henceforth “California would be known as the Great Insolvent State of California (also known as GISOC) and all references to California in schools, buildings, news stories and speeches would be changed to “GISOC.” Bids were actively being solicited from licensed contractors to make the necessary cosmetic changes on the buildings.
In addition, the Official Seal of California was being redesigned to show only San Francisco harbor with a sinking ship being featured. On the bow of the ship, and the transom, the letters “GISOC” would be prominently featured. “It is a graphic way to show our plight” the Spokesperson announced.
The Governor, Members of the Senate and Assembly, who were largely responsible for the insolvency of California, are pictured on the shore with the words “Help, Save our State, PLEASE, we couldn’t do it” featured in bold letters.
When the man-on-the-street was polled about this change, the most common answer was “Are they out of their friggin’ minds?” It would appear that the typical man-on-the-street is smarter than GISOC’s elected officials.
Washington, D.C., March 4, 2010 Exclusive to eGrumps
Having recently appointed Scott Matheson, Jr. to fill a judicial vacancy in the Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit, the Administration announced that he was fully qualified for this position (which he apparently is) and it was totally irrelevant that his brother, Representative Jim Matheson from Utah, had voted against the Health Care Bill (Obamacare).
The Administration also announced the appointment of a blue-ribbon commission to select other nominees to fill vacant positions within the Administration. A spokesperson said “There are only so many qualified relatives of Democrats who voted against Obamacare to become judges, but there are a substantial number of vacant positions that can be filled by other relatives of the dissenting congresspeople. The Blue Ribbon Commission (“Citizens to Fill Vacancies in the Federal Government”) was having their staff put together a list containing the following information: (1) Democrats who voted against Obamacare, (2) Relatives of those Democrats, and (3) Vacant positions within the federal government. In order to limit the number of relatives, the list included only (a) spouses (b) siblings (c) children (d) grandchildren (e) nieces and nephems and(e) spouses of “b,” “c” ”d” and”e”. Also included in the list of relatives were creditors of the congressperson who, while not technically “relatives,” could be considered relatives because of the close financial ties between the creditor and the house member. “
“This is a wonderful opportunity to get qualified people to fill vacant jobs who might otherwise not want to work for the Federal Government,” an Administration Spokesperson said, “and the fact that all of them were related to congresspeople who had voted against Obamacare is really not important and is just a minor detail. It’s merely a question of getting qualified people to fill out the ranks of vacant federal jobs in Washington, and almost no pressure will be placed on the congressperson to change his or her vote to favor Obamacare. The Administration certainly would not stoop to “buying votes” for Obamacare. We view this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get qualified employees. We hope the American people understand our pure non-political motives in this matter.”