Criteria for New Laws (from eGrumps) – April 22, 2010
Washington, D. C. April 22, 2012 Exclusive to eGrumps
The Obama Administration has issued new guidelines for Bills to be submitted to Congress.
1. No Bill will be less than 1,500 pages, single spaced.
2. All Bills will be submitted to Congress no earlier than three days before the vote.
3. All Bills will contain at least one section that the Republicans will be unable to accept and the public will not understand why they are unable to accept it.
4. All bills will be surported by all Democrats who will take the position that any opposition will lead to inevitable violence. Strong opposition will be consider sedetion, or even treason. Some bills will contain a preamble that states that the purpose of the Law is to satisfy all good American citizens and to prevent a recurrence of the Oklahoma City bombing by disgruntled individuals.
5. All bills will establish a commission to regulate the Tea Party Movement, requiring weekly rosters on members, financial statements, fingerprints and compulsary DNA testing.
6. All Bills will contain an appropriation for Community Organizing Groups., particularly ACORN, or its successors. No audit would be required for the funds received.
The Administration Spokesperson stated that the length of the bill was vital. It was felt no human being could read 1500 or more pages in the three days before the vote, thus leaving all Congress people in the dark as to what they were voting on. This would enable the Administration to set up numerous separate departments, all of whom would employ out-of-work citizens, whose jobs would depend on the fact that if the Republicans take control of either the Senate or the House, they would lose their jobs if the Law was repealed.
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