Questions About Technical “Support” Given to the Average American Phd candidate concerning a problem she is having with her computer. Question of the day: Why should I have to press “1″ for English? 2nd Question of the day: Why do technical support people (generally speaking) in foreign countries not speak English loudly and clearly? 3rd [...]

Portland, OR (August 1, 2010)                         Exclusive to eGrumps Having successfully dealt with the accusations against former VP Gore, the Portland PD announced that the procedure employed with Mr. Gore will become Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) for persons accused of crimes. In investigating the [...]

Washington, D. C. (May 29. 2010)                     Exclusive to eGrumps The national “I-Got-A-Bridge I Want to Sell You”  Award for 2010 (so far) has been awarded to President Obama, ex-President Bill Clinton, Rahm Emanual and the rest of the senior White House Staff (excluding chefs.) The [...]

Washington, D.C.                                            May 26, 2010 Exclusive story to eGrumps Reacting strongly to criticism for not visiting the oil spill, and related environs, the Office of the President issued the following press release: “The President [...]

Classified Location, Arizona                                        Exclusive to eGrumps May 21, 2010 Reacting to harsh criticism the Governor of Arizona has announced a policy designed to prevent any hint of racial profiling: The spokesperson announced: “For those illegal immigrants [...]

Sacramento, CA, (o5/04/2010)                            Exclusive to eGrumps Expressing great concern over the law enacted by Arizona regarding illegal aliens (aka undocumented workers), a spokesperson for the Governor of the Great Insolvent State of California announced that California was erecting a fence between Arizona and California [...]

Washington, D. C. (April 26, 2010)                     Special to eGrumps The Administration has announced a new Immigration Policy which should solve, once and for all, the problem of illegal immigration – By Executive Order, henceforth all illegal immigrants will be required to either be married, or [...]

Washington, D. C. April 22, 2012                                  Exclusive to eGrumps The Obama Administration has issued new guidelines for Bills to be submitted to Congress. 1. No Bill will be less than 1,500 pages, single spaced. 2. All Bills will be [...]

Gone fishing Check out earlier posts, then amble on over to http://pithycomment.com. Of course, if you don’t know how to amble, I don’t think they teach “Ambling” in college any more, surf on over. Too many students flunking the course in ambling — bad image for the University – but Surfing 101 is big, big, [...]

In an effort to protect American airliners, President Obama announced the formation of a dog corps, designed to sniff out trouble before it begins. This is the story of the first graduate. A man is seated in an airliner, which is about to take off when another man with a Labrador retriever occupies the empty [...]

Exclusive to eGrumps Washington, D. C. (April 2, 2010) In a plan to reduce unemployment, and continuing the modest gains of March, 2010, the Administration announced a new policy.  In March, 2010, there were 162,000 employees added to the work force, according to preliminary figures.  Of these jobs, 48,000 consisted of temporary workers hired for [...]

For weeks I have been bombarded with letters, cards and advertisements telling me to be sure to fill out my census form and mail it in. I couldn’t do that because it asked for information as of April 1, and I had no way of predicting the future – what are the facts as of [...]

To: Robert M. Groves, Director U. S. Census Dear Mr. Groves: I have previously posted about your (our)(America’s) problem with the census you are taking. (See my posts of March 18 and March 22) I wrote about the enclosure letter I received with the census form and the separate letter that your Department subsequently sent. [...]

Washington, D. C. (March 24, 2010)                                                                      from eGrumps Obamacare provides for a new 10% “tax” to be levied upon the gross [...]

Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. Census Director: Several days ago i posted about a problem with your letter (of March 2010) demanding that I sign and send in my census form immediately, despite the fact the form relates to events occurring on April 1, 2010. I expected some clarification, but alas, you have not had the [...]

There was a man of great wealth Who was in very good health. It did not matter one whit. He was still going to be taxed quite a bit. Because of Obamicare’s provisions – enacted with great stealth. (All right, so the limerick is not quite perfect, actually it is not even close, but you [...]

Sacramento, CA, March 8, 2010                                               Exclusive to eGrumps After Governor Arnold (also known as “The Terminator”)  announced that California was broke (also known as “insolvent”),  he set forth his plan to bring public [...]

Washington, D.C., March 4, 2010                                                                          Exclusive to eGrumps Having recently appointed Scott Matheson, Jr. to fill a judicial vacancy [...]

Washington, DC (February 28, 2010) eGrumps has the complete and final solution to the problem of universal health care. Frankly, I’m surprised the Administration has not put forward this plan: 1. Anyone who doesn’t purchase the mandated health care insurance, will be guilty of a felony, and will be sent to jail – no right [...]

Washington D. C. February 25, 2010                                                                   Special to eGrumps In an effort to defuse scathing criticism about the lack of transparency  in [...]