Washington, D. C. October 16, 2009   (Commentary by eGrumps) EGrumps, in his constant search for “truth,” came across the following headlines, on the Internet which represent the conclusions of the authors of the articles, not necessarilly the conclusions or the words of either Professsor Chomsky or  Mr. Limbaugh. 1.” Noam Chomsky compares Right-Wing media to [...]

Important Announcement: In conformity with the proposed FTC guidlines regarding disclosure, eGrumps (for all of his suprime websites) has agreed to disclose any freebies or other promotional consideration he receives in connection with products mentioned on his web sites. It’s a matter which is long overdue and eGrumps personally endorses it. He has urged his [...]

Copenhagen, Denmark, October 1, 2009 (Satire Commentary by eGrumps) President Obama advised the Olympic Selection Committee that if they chose Chicago as the site of the 2016 Olympics that he would see that a new event would be added to the competition:        Synchronized Gang Violence He thought that this was a competition uniquely available [...]

A few of Murphy’s Laws: eGrumps Law: Compared to eGrumps, Murphy is a genius”.  Murphy’s Comment: “For once I agree with that idiot, eGrumps. He’s smarter than I thought.” Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics:  Everything gets worse under pressure. Murphy’s Constant:  Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. Some of Murphy’s Technology Laws:     [...]

eGrumps favorite (often ignored by eGrumps): When all else fails, read the instructions. Nothing is as easy as it looks. Every solution breeds new problems. After all is said and done, a hell-of-a lot more is said than done. If mathematically you end up with a wrong answer, try multiplying by the page number. All [...]

Washingto, D. C. September 7, 2009 In response to President Obama’s speech to the Little Tykes of America (aka school children), eGrumps has been asked to address them in their classrooms, the same as the President is going to do.  I have been advised by the organizing committee that I am free to say what [...]

1. I will try to figure out why I need 8 e-mail addresses 2. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife. 3. I resolve to back up my 1GB hard drive daily, …well, once a week….well, once a month. 4. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. 5. I [...]

Los Angeles, CA, July 16, 2009  (Commentary by eGrumps) Los Angeles City Councilperson Janice Hahn has proposed taxing sales of medical marijuana as a way of raising money for the Great Insolvent City of Los Angeles. The Legislature of the Great Insolvent State of California, upon reading of this brilliant idea, has proposed going one step [...]

I am the computer your mother warned you about Keyboard not found, press F1 to continue. You might have mail Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim Hit any user to continue.

(Washington, D. C., July 7, 2009)(Exclusive to eGrumps) Pres. Obama’s Administration proudly announced that a major breakthrough had taken place in negotiations with Vladimir Putin. America has agreed to abandon its plans for a missile defense system for Europe, ceased development work on modern weapons and agreed to destory is arsenal of  nuclear weapons in [...]

Question to eGrumps – “What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?” eGrumps Answer – “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

(Columbia, South Carolina, June 30, 2009) (Exclusive to eGrumps) Mark Sanford, Governor of South Carolina, apologized today to (i) his wife and family, (ii) the people of South Carolina, and (iii) the United States Labor Department and Trade Representatives. Expressing great regret, Gov. Sanford stated how sorry he was that he had not kept jobs [...]

The definition of politics as  currently being practiced in Washington.  Politics: The art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then applying the wrong remedies.

(Washington D.C. June 20, 2009)(exclusive to eGrumps) The Administration, when asked at a press conference what factors they had used in determining whether America would “meddle” in the internal affairs of other countries gave a quite satsifactory explanation, they said.  Pressed as to why America has said it would not “meddle” in Iran, but apparently [...]

(Los Angeles, CA, June 15, 2009)(Exclusive to eGrumps) At a press conference held in Los Angeles, CA today, eGrumps presented his solution to the problem that is tearing apart the fabric of American society. The problem, eGrumps said, is the clash between those who favor traditional values and believe that a marriage should be between [...]

eGrumps never drinks alcohol because he doesn‘t think it right to drink in front of the children. And, when he’s away from the children, he doesn’t feel a need to drink alcohol

(Sacramento,CA, June 2,2009)(Exclusive to eGrumps) In order to help solve the severe water shortage in the State of California, the Governor announced the formation of a new Shower Pool Department (“SPD”). The SPD would function like the existing car pool department. Each person who would like to take a shower with one or more other [...]

On April 12, 2009, after North Korea’s first missile launch, I wrote the following: “President Obama decided to take affirmative action against North Korea today. Expressing great admiration for the United Nations for planning to adopt a “presidential statement” on Monday condemning North Korea for their missile launch, he has ordered 100,000 paper copies of [...]

(Washington, D.C. May 19, 2009)(exclusive to eGrumps) Because of the soon to be implemented National Health Insurance Plan, President Obama announced two new plans to assist the doctors in their adaption to the new system. First – The “No Doctor Left Behind Act” – this plan will educate doctors in the best way to adapt [...]

(Washington D.C. May 18, 2009)(Exclusive to eGrumps) The current stimulus plan is not working. Unemployment figures are rising. The problem – the consummer does not have enough disposable income to buy goods and stimulate the economy. But – a precedent has been set, and I guarantee the “eGrumps Stimulus Plan” will work. The current Secretary [...]