NEWS FLASH! Washington D.C.  (Exclusive to eGrumps News Service) The Office of the President is pleased to announce that the unemployment rate in America has been reduced to 0%. Deciding that anyone who is out of work, regardless of the length of time, will no longer be deemed a part of the work force. As [...]

For weeks I have been bombarded with letters, cards and advertisements telling me to be sure to fill out my census form and mail it in. I couldn’t do that because it asked for information as of April 1, and I had no way of predicting the future – what are the facts as of [...]

Washington D. C. December 14, 2009                               (Satirical News from eGrumps) The organizers of the “Who I Would Least Like to be Stranded With on a Tropical Island” contest announced that they have discontinued the contest. Votes will no longer be [...]

Washington D.C. — December 5, 2009               (Satirical Comedy (+/-)  by eGrumps) Anonymous Congressional staffers have presented a solution to America’s concern about a government run health-care system. Meeting in private, in the “Conspiracy Room” in the White House basement, they considered various ways to alleviate the very obvious [...]

Washington, D. C. November 6, 2009                        (Sarcastic Comment by eGrumps) The new Obamacare – Pelosicare – Reidcare (take your pick) is creating a massive dilemma for most Americans, including yours truly. No, I am not talking about the fact that the length of the bill exceeds the guidelines posted by President Obama (see my comment [...]

Undisclosed Location, 10/20/09     (Satirical comment by eGrumps) Meeting at a secret time and at an undisclosed location by the Anonymous Selection Selectors committee (affectionately known as the ASS committee) selected their recipient of  THE LEBON award. This was the first meeting of the ASS committee in recorded history, although some Members felt there must have [...]

Washington D. C., August 18, 2009  (Commentary by eGrumps) In a remarkable example of how not to represent a client, the Department of Justice (“DOJ”) has filed a brief in the case of a gay couple suing the federal government to invalidate the Defense of Marriage Act which was enacted by Congress in 1996.  The [...]

Washington D.C, August 7, 2009 (Commentary by eGrumps) The House of Representatives has decided to spend $550,000,000 to buy about 8 Gulfstream Jets (The exact number proposed is not quite clear). The Air Force had requested only 1 Gulfstream Jet.

(Washington, D. C., June 6, 2009)(exclusive to eGrumps) The administration proudly announced that their proposed health care plan was financially very feasible. “This plan will work” said one spokesperson (who asked for anonynimity). Those who object to the plan have not considered the plan to reduce costs by limiting, or else reducing certain procedures. While [...]

(Washington D. C. May 21, 2009)(exclusive to e-Grumps) Representative Charles Rangel (D – NY) expressed strong objection to the Geitner Tax Deferral Plan suggested by eGrumps on May 18, 2009.  Rep. Rangel, among other things, failed to report taxable income of about $75,000 earned from rentals in the Dominican Republic. He stated that it simply [...]

Washington, D.C., May 14, 2009)(exclusive to eGrumps) In order to clear up the confusing, contradictory statements put out by Speaker Pelosi as to her knowledge of the techniques that were used, or were intended to be used,  in questioning terrorists, a bill was introduced in Congress to determine the truth of Mrs. Pelosi’s comments. Speaker Pelosi [...]

(Washington D.C. , May 7, 2009) (Exclusive to eGrumps) Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced at a press conference held today that, while she did attend the House Intelligence Committee briefings in 2002, she misunderstood the report. Because of a hearing problem, which had recently developed, and was shortly thereafter cured, she thought she had been briefed [...]

(Washington, D. C. April 6, 2009)  (Exclusive to eGrumps) The Executive Committee of the independent (sometimes) Washington Press Corps debated a problem that could have arisen had Senator Edwards become President. While it was not relevant at the present time, since Sen. Edwards was not nominated, yet alone elected, and, in fact, he may not [...]

(Washington D. C. April 30, 2009) (Exclusive to eGrumps) The Administration issued a press release today stating that prior information given to the American people was wrong . The projections showing the proposed insolvency of Social Security, the proposed insolvency of Medicare, and the proposed insolvency of the Medicare Prescription Drug Plan were, and are, [...]

(Washington DC, April 25,2009)(Exclusive to eGrumps) The famous citizens group (an anonymous group) set up to investigate  the non-condemnation and non-request for investigation of ethical misconduct has created a special award to be awarded to that member of Congress who has failed to (i) either condemn ethical misconduct or (ii) request the prompt  investigation of alleged [...]

Letter to the Director, CIA Langley, Virginia Dear Sir: You may have read, or your agents may have told you, that there is a very severe water shortage in So. California. Water is being rationed and we will only be allowed to water our lawns two days a week, and then not between 9:00 AM [...]

Our president said in his speech: “I know there is a criticism out there that my administration has somehow been spending with reckless abandon, pushing a liberal social agenda while mortgaging our children’s future.” Mr. President, you’re kidding, right? Criticism? Nah – it isn’t happening – much!

I wonder if the President and Congress have considered the inconsistency in their plan to limit the wages and bonuses of those employed in industry. The government has taken the position that some companies are too big to fail and therefore should be subsidised by the American taxpayer and salaries and bonuses should be limited.  [...]

Chris Matthews, the TV Commentator who once said that one of Pres. Obama’s speeches sent tingles up his leg, called the three shots from the three Seals that killed the Pirates “lucky.”  We should all be that lucky in our chosen careers.. With that kind of luck the three Seals should leave for Las Vegas [...]

Congressional Hearing, 2003 “Rep.  Frank: I do think I do not want the same kind of focus on safety and soundness that we have in OCC [Office of the Comptroller of the Currency] and OTS [Office of Thrift Supervision]. I want to roll the dice a little bit more in this situation towards subsidized housing. [...]