Archive for the 'Famous Comments' Category
In considering Obamacare for the masses (that’s most of you (but not me)) attention has been given to funeral parlors, funeral plots and funeral plans for the 21st century. While not formally a part of Obamacare, an intelligent (?) discussion in the White House, between various czar planners for Obamacare considered the following in order [...]
Monday, February 22nd, 2010
Posted in American policy, Comedy, Famous Comments, Political Satire, Political Truth, Wit | No Comments »
Washington, D.C. (December 1, 2009) (Satirical Comment by eGrumps) Seeking to follow the lead of that great leader of the English people during World War II, President Obama borrowed from the words of Winston Churchill to rally the American people behind his policy in Afghanistan. “We shall go on to the end, we shall [...]
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
Posted in American policy, Famous Comments, Humor - Political, Political Satire, Satire, Wit | No Comments »
Even eGrumps’ Mother (age 92) is getting caught up in the digital age. She told him: “You don’t write. You don’t call. You don’t FAX. You don’t email. You don’t text. If it weren’t for www.egrumps.com and www.pithycomment.com I’d never hear from you”
Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
Posted in Famous Comments, Humor, Sayings, Wit | No Comments »
Important Announcement: In conformity with the proposed FTC guidlines regarding disclosure, eGrumps (for all of his suprime websites) has agreed to disclose any freebies or other promotional consideration he receives in connection with products mentioned on his web sites. It’s a matter which is long overdue and eGrumps personally endorses it. He has urged his [...]
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
Posted in American policy, Comedy, Famous Comments, Humor - Political, Political Satire, Political Truth, Wit | No Comments »
A few of Murphy’s Laws: eGrumps Law: Compared to eGrumps, Murphy is a genius”. Murphy’s Comment: “For once I agree with that idiot, eGrumps. He’s smarter than I thought.” Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics: Everything gets worse under pressure. Murphy’s Constant: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. Some of Murphy’s Technology Laws: [...]
Saturday, September 26th, 2009
Posted in Comedy, Famous Comments, Humor, Wit | No Comments »
This was “borrowed” from www.pithycomment.com. It’s worth repeating: When you think of the debt the next generation must pay off, it is no wonder a baby yells when it is born. ____________________________________________________________
Monday, September 21st, 2009
Posted in Famous Comments, Humor - Political, Political Truth, Wit | No Comments »
eGrumps favorite (often ignored by eGrumps): When all else fails, read the instructions. Nothing is as easy as it looks. Every solution breeds new problems. After all is said and done, a hell-of-a lot more is said than done. If mathematically you end up with a wrong answer, try multiplying by the page number. All [...]
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
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The trouble with becoming an IRS Agent, 95% of them give the rest a bad name. The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion – the jail walls. Letter to the IRS: After hearing a sermon on Sunday, a man wrote the following to the IRS: “I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have [...]
Thursday, August 27th, 2009
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The definition of politics as currently being practiced in Washington. Politics: The art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then applying the wrong remedies.
Saturday, June 27th, 2009
Posted in American policy, Comedy, Famous Comments, Humor - Political, Political Satire, Wit | No Comments »
Dear God: This year, please send clothes to all those poor ladies on Daddy’s Computer. I promise to be good next year!
Monday, May 11th, 2009
Posted in Comedy, Famous Comments, Humor, Political Truth, Satire, Sayings, Wit | No Comments »
Murphy’s Laws of Technology: 1. Logic is a systematic way of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. 2. The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord. 3. The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.
Monday, May 4th, 2009
Posted in Comedy, Famous Comments, Humor, Satire, Sayings, Wit | No Comments »
After considerable debate among his 3 friends, and a very close vote, 3 to 1 with eGrumps being in the minority, he proudly announced that his suggestion for an official slogan, despite not being approved by the three friends, would be adopted. His 3 friends resigned, all leaving the conference room, saying, in effect, eGrumps, we are [...]
Saturday, May 2nd, 2009
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(Washington, D.C., April 29, 2009) (Exclusive to eGrumps) After proudly proclaiming his accomplishments during the first 100 days, President Obama quoted that late great comedian, Al Jolsen “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” Later. at his weekly grand meeting of csars, one of the csars, thinking his microphone was shut off, was overheard to say, “If the [...]
Wednesday, April 29th, 2009
Posted in American policy, Comedy, Famous Comments, Humor, Humor - Political, Political Satire, Political Truth, Sayings, Wit | No Comments »
I went out with a pair of twins last night. Really, did you have a good time? Yes and no.
Sunday, April 26th, 2009
Posted in Comedy, Famous Comments, Humor, Humor - Political, Sayings, Wit | No Comments »
1. An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it. 2. Education has produced a vast population able to read, but unable to distinguish what is worth reading. (G.M.Trevelyan). 3. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. (S. Landesberg) 4. Artifical intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. [...]
Sunday, April 19th, 2009
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Congressional Hearing, 2003 “Rep. Frank: I do think I do not want the same kind of focus on safety and soundness that we have in OCC [Office of the Comptroller of the Currency] and OTS [Office of Thrift Supervision]. I want to roll the dice a little bit more in this situation towards subsidized housing. [...]
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009
Posted in American policy, Bail out, Congress, Famous Comments, Law, Political Truth, Sayings | No Comments »
Microsoft, Yahoo and eGrumps have jointly announced that they are in talks to develop a strategic partnership. Details have not been released, but it is believed that the eGrumps website is the key to the arrangement, and Microsoft and Yahoo have been unable to work out satisfactory terms with eGrumps. Actually, the release said they [...]
Saturday, April 11th, 2009
Posted in Bail out, Comedy, Famous Comments, Humor, Humor - Political, Satire, Wit | No Comments »
President Obama, after holding the first Passover Seder in the White House, for those of the Jewish faith who are on his staff, has learned of the action of the Somali Pirates in holding an American citizen hostage. Having read historical sayings of prior sages of the Jewish community, in other situations, felt it appropriate [...]
Friday, April 10th, 2009
Posted in Comedy, Famous Comments, Humor, Humor - Political, Political Satire, Political Truth, Satire, Sayings, Wit | No Comments »
In response to my previous post concerning outrageous pay to actors, actresses and sports figures who do not deliver that for which they have been paid (up front – I might add), I have received several threatening letters. Out of concern for their safety from my outraged readers, I will not disclose the names of [...]
Thursday, April 9th, 2009
Posted in Bail out, Comedy, Entertainment Industry., Famous Comments, Humor, Humor - Political, Law, Political Satire, Satire, Sports, Uncategorized, Wit | No Comments »
Great Invention: For people who like peace and quiet, a phoneless cord. Great fortune cookie message: Ignore previous cookie. Mae West Quote: He who hesitates is lost. Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling. I’m in a phone booth at the corner of Walk and Don’t Walk.
Sunday, April 5th, 2009
Posted in Comedy, Famous Comments, Humor, Humor - Political, Political Satire, Sayings, Wit | No Comments »