Obamacare — Political Appointments (from eGrumps) — March 4, 2010
Washington, D.C., March 4, 2010 Exclusive to eGrumps Having recently appointed Scott Matheson, Jr. to fill a judicial vacancy [...]
Archive for the 'Humor – Political' Category
Universal Health Care, eGrumps Solution to “The Problem”
Washington, DC (February 28, 2010) eGrumps has the complete and final solution to the problem of universal health care. Frankly, I’m surprised the Administration has not put forward this plan: 1. Anyone who doesn’t purchase the mandated health care insurance, will be guilty of a felony, and will be sent to jail – no right [...]
Transparency Credits – A New Approach by President Obama to both Fulfill His Campaign Promise and to Help Reduce the Deficit.
Washington D. C. February 25, 2010 Special to eGrumps In an effort to defuse scathing criticism about the lack of transparency in [...]
Sarah Palin – The Handwriting Is On The Hand – Technological Obsolescence – Criticism Mounts
Washington D. C. February 11, 2010 (exclusive to eGrumps) Strong criticism has been levied at Governor Pallin’s use of her hand to store crib notes for her speech at the Tea Party Convention. Various reasons for the criticism have been advanced including an allegation that she obviously [...]
Las Vegas – President Obama Cautions about Using College Tuition Money to Finance a Trip to Vegas (Unless You Win)
Washington, D. C. (February 2, 2010) (Not exclusive to eGrumps) A special slightly schizophrenic alert has been issued: February 2, 2010: In Nashua, New Hampshire President Obama stated “When times are tough….You don’t blow a bunch of cash on Vegas when you’re trying to save for college.” (I think most [...]
Banker’s Salaries; Banks (Scapegoat of The Week); and Tax Increases on Banks
Washington D. C. (January 25, 2010) Banker’s Salaries: The Administration has come up with a novel, and fair plan concerning banker’s salaries. No bank employee shall receive a salary that is greater than the amount paid to the highest paid professional athlete. If a professional athlete gets paid $35,000,000 a year for throwing a little [...]
Homeland Security – Failure to Connect Dots – New Foolproof Machines
Washington, D. C. (January 8, 2010) (Special to eGrumps) The Department of Homeland Security after an exhaustive review of the “security measures” in place to protect our country is instituting a novel approach to provide greater security for Americans. Legal Aliens, and Illegal Aliens residing in the United States. Citing the difficulty in not providing [...]
The Underwear Bomber, Airplane Terrorism, Crime and Punishment, Indecent Exposure – January 1, 2010.
Washington, D. C. (January 1, 2010) After considering various options for the trial of the alleged terrorist (the “Underwear Bomber”) the DOJ decided to indite him on indecent exposure. Citing the difficulties in getting a conviction for acts of terrorism, attempted murder, and bad-conduct on an airplane, career political (and senior) attorneys from the Department [...]
Nancy Pelosi — Winner — Tropical Island Contest
Washington D. C. December 14, 2009 (Satirical News from eGrumps) The organizers of the “Who I Would Least Like to be Stranded With on a Tropical Island” contest announced that they have discontinued the contest. Votes will no longer be [...]
The Old Fire Plug Excuse — Advice to Tiger Woods (October 11, 2009)
When the police investigated Tiger Woods accident, he should have told them the complete truth. “Officer I was merely driving out of my driveway when this fire-plug moved directly in front of my car and ran right into the front of my car. It must have been drinking to behave so erratically. It was not [...]
Spokespeople for Congressional Leadership Announce a Plan to Reduce Concern over ObamaCare.
Washington D.C. — December 5, 2009 (Satirical Comedy (+/-) by eGrumps) Anonymous Congressional staffers have presented a solution to America’s concern about a government run health-care system. Meeting in private, in the “Conspiracy Room” in the White House basement, they considered various ways to alleviate the very obvious [...]
President Obama’s Winston Churchill Speech – December 1, 2009
Washington, D.C. (December 1, 2009) (Satirical Comment by eGrumps) Seeking to follow the lead of that great leader of the English people during World War II, President Obama borrowed from the words of Winston Churchill to rally the American people behind his policy in Afghanistan. “We shall go on to the end, we shall [...]
Obamacare – Pelosicare – Reidcare Bill Creates Massive Dilemma for Americans Getting Headaches by Thinking About the Bill. President Obama Says “Not to Worry. Trust Me.”
Washington, D. C. November 6, 2009 (Sarcastic Comment by eGrumps) The new Obamacare – Pelosicare – Reidcare (take your pick) is creating a massive dilemma for most Americans, including yours truly. No, I am not talking about the fact that the length of the bill exceeds the guidelines posted by President Obama (see my comment [...]
Healthcare Bill Praised by White House. Physical Size of Bill Satisfies President Obama. Surge in Sales of Speed Reading Courses
Washington D. C., October 30, 2009 (Sarcastic Comment by eGrumps) The White House (“WH”) proudly announced that the Health Care Bill (“Obamacare”) presented by Speaker Pelosi to the American people met all governmental criteria. More important than the size of the fiscal deficit that would follow [...]
TARP Funds for House of Ill Repute Requested from President Obama
Washington D.C. , October 28, 2009 (Special to eGrumps) A Washington Insider, who asked to remain anonymous, confirmed the fact that the Treasury Department, The Federal Reserve Board, President Obama and the Tsars and the rest of the White House staff had received requests for TARP funds from a “red light” establishment. Madam XXXX (who also asked [...]
New Letter to K. Feinberg, Pay Csar
Washington, D. C. October 26, 2009 Dear Csar (aka czar, aka tsar) Feinberg: I have not had a response from you replying to my letter of October 22, 2009 which was posted on www.egrumps.com. I can only assume the duties of your office, setting appropriate pay for millions of Americans (and foreigners (legal and illegal) working [...]
THE LEBON – Reverse Nobel Prize Awarded to eGrumps
Undisclosed Location, 10/20/09 (Satirical comment by eGrumps) Meeting at a secret time and at an undisclosed location by the Anonymous Selection Selectors committee (affectionately known as the ASS committee) selected their recipient of THE LEBON award. This was the first meeting of the ASS committee in recorded history, although some Members felt there must have [...]
President Obama – The Nobel Peace Prize and the Heisman Trophy
Washington, D. C., October 10, 2009 (Satirical Comment by eGrumps) President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for trying to bring peace to the world. His staff expressed surprise, but there is little doubt that all 34 Czars appointed by President Obama submitted his nomination to the Committee. An anonymous Czar stated that the [...]
New FTC Rules – eGrumps Policy (Important)
Important Announcement: In conformity with the proposed FTC guidlines regarding disclosure, eGrumps (for all of his suprime websites) has agreed to disclose any freebies or other promotional consideration he receives in connection with products mentioned on his web sites. It’s a matter which is long overdue and eGrumps personally endorses it. He has urged his [...]
Pres. Obama meets Gen. McCrystal in Copenhagen. Egrumps Denies Existence of a Mole.
Washington D. C. October 2, 2009 (Comment by eGrumps) On September 29th on www.egrumps.com eGrumps reported on a meeting to take place between President Obama and General McCrystal in Copenhagen while the President was making his presentation to the Olympic Selection Committee. The full text of eGrumps story, titled “Obama, Olympics and Afghanistan,” can be found on [...]