Obamacare — Political Appointments (from eGrumps) — March 4, 2010
Washington, D.C., March 4, 2010 Exclusive to eGrumps Having recently appointed Scott Matheson, Jr. to fill a judicial vacancy [...]
Archive for the 'Political Satire' Category
Universal Health Care, eGrumps Solution to “The Problem”
Washington, DC (February 28, 2010) eGrumps has the complete and final solution to the problem of universal health care. Frankly, I’m surprised the Administration has not put forward this plan: 1. Anyone who doesn’t purchase the mandated health care insurance, will be guilty of a felony, and will be sent to jail – no right [...]
Transparency Credits – A New Approach by President Obama to both Fulfill His Campaign Promise and to Help Reduce the Deficit.
Washington D. C. February 25, 2010 Special to eGrumps In an effort to defuse scathing criticism about the lack of transparency in [...]
Obamacare, Humorous Comments and Pithy Sayings about Death, Funeral Parlors, Cemeteries and Funeral Plans in the 21st Century – Cash for Used Coffins!
In considering Obamacare for the masses (that’s most of you (but not me)) attention has been given to funeral parlors, funeral plots and funeral plans for the 21st century. While not formally a part of Obamacare, an intelligent (?) discussion in the White House, between various czar planners for Obamacare considered the following in order [...]
In Bold Move, Obama Flounts China, To Meet Dalai Lama in Las Vegas — February 3, 2010
Washington, D. C. February 3, 2010 (Leaked to eGrumps by anonymous sources in the White House.) The Chinese government has suggested it would not be in America’s best interests to meet with the Dalai Lama because, among other things, it would damage “trust and cooperation” between the two [...]
Las Vegas – President Obama Cautions about Using College Tuition Money to Finance a Trip to Vegas (Unless You Win)
Washington, D. C. (February 2, 2010) (Not exclusive to eGrumps) A special slightly schizophrenic alert has been issued: February 2, 2010: In Nashua, New Hampshire President Obama stated “When times are tough….You don’t blow a bunch of cash on Vegas when you’re trying to save for college.” (I think most [...]
Banker’s Salaries; Banks (Scapegoat of The Week); and Tax Increases on Banks
Washington D. C. (January 25, 2010) Banker’s Salaries: The Administration has come up with a novel, and fair plan concerning banker’s salaries. No bank employee shall receive a salary that is greater than the amount paid to the highest paid professional athlete. If a professional athlete gets paid $35,000,000 a year for throwing a little [...]
Homeland Security – Failure to Connect Dots – New Foolproof Machines
Washington, D. C. (January 8, 2010) (Special to eGrumps) The Department of Homeland Security after an exhaustive review of the “security measures” in place to protect our country is instituting a novel approach to provide greater security for Americans. Legal Aliens, and Illegal Aliens residing in the United States. Citing the difficulty in not providing [...]
The Underwear Bomber, Airplane Terrorism, Crime and Punishment, Indecent Exposure – January 1, 2010.
Washington, D. C. (January 1, 2010) After considering various options for the trial of the alleged terrorist (the “Underwear Bomber”) the DOJ decided to indite him on indecent exposure. Citing the difficulties in getting a conviction for acts of terrorism, attempted murder, and bad-conduct on an airplane, career political (and senior) attorneys from the Department [...]
Nancy Pelosi — Winner — Tropical Island Contest
Washington D. C. December 14, 2009 (Satirical News from eGrumps) The organizers of the “Who I Would Least Like to be Stranded With on a Tropical Island” contest announced that they have discontinued the contest. Votes will no longer be [...]
Spokespeople for Congressional Leadership Announce a Plan to Reduce Concern over ObamaCare.
Washington D.C. — December 5, 2009 (Satirical Comedy (+/-) by eGrumps) Anonymous Congressional staffers have presented a solution to America’s concern about a government run health-care system. Meeting in private, in the “Conspiracy Room” in the White House basement, they considered various ways to alleviate the very obvious [...]
President Obama’s Winston Churchill Speech – December 1, 2009
Washington, D.C. (December 1, 2009) (Satirical Comment by eGrumps) Seeking to follow the lead of that great leader of the English people during World War II, President Obama borrowed from the words of Winston Churchill to rally the American people behind his policy in Afghanistan. “We shall go on to the end, we shall [...]
Senator-of-The-Year Award —NOT – Sen. Conrad (D – ND) – Civil Trial for Kahali Sheikh Mohammad
Washington D. C., November 27, 2009 (Commentary from eGrumps) eGrumps is proud to announce his highly prized “Senator-of-The-Year Award – NOT” (so far) to North Dakota Senator Kent Conrad for his comment about those opposed to trying KSM in a civilian court in New York City. It seems he [...]
Murphy’s Laws of Sex (Continued from http://pithycomment.com) — November 23, 2009
FOR MORE MURPHY ON SEX, GO TO HTTP://pithycomment.com – You have probably deduced that eGrumps has been accused of being fixated on the subject of this posting, hence more of the same on the pithycomment.com web site, his other subprime website. “Fixated” is probably too strong a work, but maybe not. Please don’t tell Mrs. [...]
Obamacare – Pelosicare – Reidcare Bill Creates Massive Dilemma for Americans Getting Headaches by Thinking About the Bill. President Obama Says “Not to Worry. Trust Me.”
Washington, D. C. November 6, 2009 (Sarcastic Comment by eGrumps) The new Obamacare – Pelosicare – Reidcare (take your pick) is creating a massive dilemma for most Americans, including yours truly. No, I am not talking about the fact that the length of the bill exceeds the guidelines posted by President Obama (see my comment [...]
Healthcare Bill Praised by White House. Physical Size of Bill Satisfies President Obama. Surge in Sales of Speed Reading Courses
Washington D. C., October 30, 2009 (Sarcastic Comment by eGrumps) The White House (“WH”) proudly announced that the Health Care Bill (“Obamacare”) presented by Speaker Pelosi to the American people met all governmental criteria. More important than the size of the fiscal deficit that would follow [...]
TARP Funds for House of Ill Repute Requested from President Obama
Washington D.C. , October 28, 2009 (Special to eGrumps) A Washington Insider, who asked to remain anonymous, confirmed the fact that the Treasury Department, The Federal Reserve Board, President Obama and the Tsars and the rest of the White House staff had received requests for TARP funds from a “red light” establishment. Madam XXXX (who also asked [...]
New Letter to K. Feinberg, Pay Csar
Washington, D. C. October 26, 2009 Dear Csar (aka czar, aka tsar) Feinberg: I have not had a response from you replying to my letter of October 22, 2009 which was posted on www.egrumps.com. I can only assume the duties of your office, setting appropriate pay for millions of Americans (and foreigners (legal and illegal) working [...]
Open Letter to K. Feinberg, Pay Csar
Washington D. C., October 22, 2009 Dear Mr. Feinberg. I understand that you are the Pay Csar for the United States of America and are charged with setting executive compensation for those companies that have received government funds. While I am not sure of the pay cap on the salaries that you will allow to be [...]
THE LEBON – Reverse Nobel Prize Awarded to eGrumps
Undisclosed Location, 10/20/09 (Satirical comment by eGrumps) Meeting at a secret time and at an undisclosed location by the Anonymous Selection Selectors committee (affectionately known as the ASS committee) selected their recipient of THE LEBON award. This was the first meeting of the ASS committee in recorded history, although some Members felt there must have [...]