Friday, August 27th, 2010
Questions About Technical “Support” Given to the Average American Phd candidate concerning a problem she is having with her computer.
Question of the day: Why should I have to press “1″ for English?
2nd Question of the day: Why do technical support people (generally speaking) in foreign countries not speak English loudly and clearly?
3rd Question of the day: Why do technical support people (generally speaking) in foreign countries almost always have to go to their supervisors to answer anything but the most simple questions? Why don’t they connect us to the supervisors in the first place.?
4th Question of the day: Whose time is more valuable – the foreign tech. support people or mine? (Don’t answer that)
Most Important Question of the Day: How many technical support people in foreign countries does it take to answer your question? (Damned if I know – I don’t understand their answer anyhow, so I could be talking to the same person, each time using a slightly different accent). Statistics, however, show the following:
1: The American operator who first answers the call and transfrers you to the foreign operator.
2. The foreign operator who asks who you want to speak to.
3. Assuming you don’t know the name of the person, then you get a new foreign operator who asks you the name, product number and serial number of the item in question.
4. The foreign operator who tells you where the serial number is located, and then puts you on hold while you crawl on the floor to find the damn number.
5. The new foreign operator who picks up the phone after you are disconnected while on hold by the first operator while you searched for the damn number.
6. The three new operators who repeat the questions in “2″ “3″ and “4″
7. The techical support person who asks you the same information you gave twice before about product name, etc. Now, however, he wants your name, address, last four digits of your SSN, driver’s license number, credit card number, date of purchase of the product, where you bought it, the invoice number and the date of registration. Sometimes you are asked for your Mother’s maiden name, but not always. (If they don’t ask, give it to them anyhow, it’ll save time in the long run).
8. The foreign librarian who looks up the answer in the manual so that the person in “7″ can answer the question.
9. The supervisor who tells the librarian she pulled the wrong spec sheet and sends her back to the tech. support person – who now talks to you in the dialect of Southwest Lower Slabovia giving you the correct answer, maybe, from the new spec sheet.
You add them up, I don’t have that many fingers, and besides my computer calculator doesn’t work, which is why I called in the first place.