How I Got My Name
My sweet, lovable, adoring grandson used to call me Grumps. I know he must of had trouble with the word "Gramps," otherwise the name was totally inappropriate. When it came to developing my persona on the web, eGrumps, came quite naturally, although the use of the word "grumps" is much more fitting now, than then. I believe I mellowed into it. Little grandson is now 30, for a little kid back then, he certainly was a good judge of character.
Interesting Links

My sweet, lovable, adoring grandson used to call me Grumps. I know he must of had trouble with the word "Gramps," otherwise the name was totally inappropriate. When it came to developing my persona on the web, eGrumps, came quite naturally, although the use of the word "grumps" is much more fitting now, than then. I believe I mellowed into it. Little grandson is now 27, for a little kid back then, he certainly was a good judge of character.

Jokes, Humor & Pithy Comments — (from eGrumps) — April 18, 2010

April 18th, 2010

Gone fishing

Check out earlier posts,
then amble on over to Of course, if you don’t know how to amble, I don’t think they teach “Ambling” in college any more, surf on over. Too many students flunking the course in ambling — bad image for the University – but Surfing 101 is big, big, big.

Murphy’s Laws of Sex (Continued from — November 23, 2009

November 23rd, 2009

FOR MORE MURPHY ON SEX, GO TO HTTP:// – You have probably deduced that eGrumps
has been accused of being fixated on the subject of this posting, hence more of the same on the  web site, his other subprime website. “Fixated” is probably too strong a work, but maybe not.
Please don’t tell Mrs. eGrumps. Fortunately she is computer illiterate (I think) and besides, she thinks I am
fixated on the subject – she should only know.

1. Nothing improves with age (except good wine).

2.  No matter how many times you have had it, if it is offered, take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.

3. Sex has no calories.

4. No sex with anyone in the same office (This rule is occasionally ignored)

5. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself (This rule is also occasionally ignored.).

6. Never say no.

7. There may be some things better than sex, and somethings worde than sex. But – there is nothing exactly like it.

8. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.

Remember http:/ for more on this fascinating subject.


Nobel Award for Journalism May Go to eGrumps.

October 16th, 2009

Washington, D. C. October 16, 2009   (Commentary by eGrumps)

EGrumps, in his constant search for “truth,” came across the following headlines, on the Internet which represent the conclusions of the authors of the articles, not necessarilly the conclusions or the words of either Professsor Chomsky or  Mr. Limbaugh.

1.” Noam Chomsky compares Right-Wing media to Nazi Germany.”

2.” Rush Limbaugh compares Democrats to Nazis. “

While I haven’t exactly found this, yet, on the Internet, eGrumps believes the Editorial Boards of       Read the rest of this entry »

Murphy’s Laws and Corollaries

September 26th, 2009

A few of Murphy’s Laws:

eGrumps Law: Compared to eGrumps, Murphy is a genius”. 
Murphy’s Comment: “For once I agree with that idiot, eGrumps. He’s smarter than I thought.”

Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics:  Everything gets worse under pressure.

Murphy’s Constant:  Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Some of Murphy’s Technology Laws:
    Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
    Logic is a systematic way of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
    All great discoveries are made by mistake.
    If it is not in the computer, it doesn’t exist.
    Any given program when running is obsolete.
    Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
     A failure will not appear until the product has passed final inspection.

Murphy’s Law of Construction: Don’t force it, get a larger hammer.

Murphy’s Law of Divine Intervention:  The success of any venture will be helped by payer, even in the wrong denomination.


Health Insurance – The Wrong Question

September 22nd, 2009

In all the debate about who has health insurance, who does not, why he or she does or does not have health insurance- eGrumps submits the wrong question is being asked.

The basic issue is whether some are not getting adequate health care, not who has medical insurance or not, and if they are not, what can be done about it.

I believe the overwhelming majority of people are getting adequate health care under our present system, although that is not based upon any statistical analysis – assuming you can define what is “adequate” health care in the first place. People are not dying in the streets – people are not getting thrown out of emergency rooms. People are getting medical treatment, even if they can’t afford it, and may have to go into debt to pay for it – but I believe it is, in the main, available.

If the question is framed that way – not whether or not they have, or can get,  health insurance – but whether they are, or not,  getting “adequate” treatment,  the solution is much easier to find without destroying America’s medical system. More clinics, anyone, for the less advantaged (to use a politically correct term). There are other things that can be done, but that’s far beyond the scope of this comment.

All I’m suggesting is that the debate should be refocused.

Obama – Thirty Million Cannot Get Health Insurance (Huh(?)

September 22nd, 2009

In the drive to get Obamacare enacted in some form, President Obama in his speach, said the 30,000,000 “cannot” get health insurance. Peter Orszag, head of the Office of Management and Budget, said that figure was based upon “Census Bureau data.”

Wrong, wrong, wrong – the Census Bureau does not report who “cannot” get health insurance. It reports only on the number of people who do not have health insurance. It is a rather big leap to say that merely because one does not have health insurance, the lack of health insurance was based on the fact that it was unattainable.

The 30,000,000 figure may, or may not be, accurate – but it is certainly not supported by Census Bureau data. Perhaps it would not be amiss for the Washington Press Corps, to keep its somewhat tarmished integrity intact,  might ask the President’s Press Secretary where that figure came from.

One would think that passing such important legislation should be based on accurate figures, not misrepresented figures, whether such misrepresentation was intentional or not.

Murphy’s Irrefutable Laws

September 16th, 2009

eGrumps favorite (often ignored by eGrumps): When all else fails, read the instructions.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Every solution breeds new problems.

After all is said and done, a hell-of-a lot more is said than done.

If mathematically you end up with a wrong answer, try multiplying by the page number.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

If it is not in the computer, it doesn’t exist.

“MURPHY WAS AN IDIOT” — (Mrs. Murphy)

Obama Claims That By Elimating Waste, Fraud and Abuse in Medicare Program Enough Will Be Saved to Pay for ObamaCare.

September 12th, 2009

Washington, D.C. September 13, 2009  (Commentary by eGrumps)

President Obama has stated that by cutting out all of the waste, fraud and abuse in the Medicare program, enough will be saved to pay for ObamaCare, no matter what form ObamaCare will take. A careful review of the facts by eGrumps has concluded that if eGrumps is kicked out of the Medicare program, enough waste (not abuse or fraud, certainly) will be eliminated to pay for ObamaCare in 2012. The fact that ObamaCare does not start until 2013 shows just how smart our President is.

After initially feeling that the goal of a revenue neutral ObamaCare was not realistic, a careful review by eGrumps has concluded that it is well within reach. If all of eGrumps friends, whose lives have been complete wastes, are kicked out of  Medicare, ObamaCare will be solvent for generations.

It is a win/win situation for America.

Obama Health Care Plan (Quotations by Lincoln and Bush)

August 25th, 2009

Washington D. C., Agust 25, 2009  (Commentary by eGrumps)

In regard to the now pending rather nebulous health care bills, Washington is wondering which statement of a former President of the United States is President Obama following — Abraham Lincoln or George W. Bush:

Abraham Lincoln: You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. or

George W. Bush: “You can fool  some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.”

(I’m not sure Pres. Bush ever said those words, but it is urban legend that he did, so who am I to argue with that.)

Las Vegas is laying 10 to 1 that Obama is following the quotation of President Bush – hard to believe. He may deny it, but facts are facts.


Obama Health Care – Overseas Medical Junkets

August 19th, 2009

Washington, D. C. August 19, 2008 (Commentary by eGrumps)

The Obama Administration in a desperate effort to balance the budget and eliminate the negative fiscal effect of “Universal Health Care,” has proposed allowing Americans (but not illegals) to purchase, in advance, prepaid medical junkets for overseas treatment. Anticipating a possible, though remote, rationing of medical care, the Administration intends to sell packaged trips to advanced medical care facilities in Switzerland, India and soon-to-be built clinics in Tijuana, Mexico.

The overseas medical facilities will be staffed, 100%, by American doctors and nurses who do not want to accept the reimbursement rate the government intends to pay for services they would otherwise perform in the United States.. The cost of the junket will include air-fare, medical care at an approved facility, hotel room for a spouse, and all medical treatment. The cost structure is being worked on. Read the rest of this entry »

Health Care Reform – President Obama to the Rescue!

August 11th, 2009

Washington D. C., August 11, 2009 (Commentary by eGrumps)

President Obama and his Administration are taking a number of steps to educate the public and prevent misinformation from distorting the true facts about health care reform. An Administration spokesman said the President was greatly disturbed by the number of people dying on the streets, in their homes, in their offices, in the ERs and even in the hospital rooms because our health care system was broken. Concern over fiscal matters cannot interfere with the reality of this crisis. The Administration has therefore come up with a number of solutions to correct the disinformation that is poisoning the public debate.

1. Because of the large number of senior citizens (especially the very elderly in wheel chairs)           Read the rest of this entry »

Obama’s Universal Health Care Cost Problem Solved – Cash for Clunkers

July 31st, 2009

Washington, D.C., July 31, 2009  (eGrumps Commentary)

eGrumps has received advance information concerning  the Administration’s plan to curb health care costs under the proposed Health-Care-For-All Plan. The idea came from another plan adopted by Obama’s administration and its application to the health care cost problem is pure genius.

The Administration has proposed that whenever the treatment protocol for treating senior citizens is too expensive, the senior will be offered cash in lieu of life-extending treatment. Since there may be some reluctance for the patient to refuse treatment and receive cash, the incentive will be offered, in complete secrecy of course, to the children and grandchildren of the “soon” to die senior relative. 

If the cost of treatment is, say $100,000 to extend the life of the patient for six months, what child or grandchild wouldn’t accept $50,000 in cash to relieve Granny of the pain and suffering, and lousy qualify of life, she would otherwise have enjoyed for such a brief period of time.

It’s a win/win situation. Granny is saved from the misery of the last few months of her life, the government will not have to tie up valuable and expensive resources to treat her, and the kids will have $50,000 cash (less funeral expenses) to remember what a wonderful person Granny was.

It will give new meaning to the term: “Cash for Clunkers.”

Obama’s Beer Party at The White House (dull, dull, dull)

July 30th, 2009

Washington D. C. July 30, 2009

Today’s beer party at the White House had to be the dullest beer party in history. Even with Joe Biden, famous for his rapier-like wit, the action was not too lively. Maybe they needed more peanuts.

Next time – have a keg ready and invite a few of eGrump’s friends. They could really contribute to whatever type of understanding was trying to be reached.  As a matter of fact, have two kegs ready and they could solve all kinds of problems. They could even come up with a few problems that President BHO didn’t even know existed. Let them write the laws to solve these problems. Their proposed laws, as written, would be totally unintelligible (like eGrumps friends), but then so are all of the other bills that are being passed without Congress reading them. As for readability – they might be an improvement – but who knows – they aren’t read anyhow until someone sues somebody about something, like the meaning of the unintelligible language.

The degree of  eGrump’s friends expertise, and their proposed solution, is in direct proportion to the number of people drinking, the number of kegs consumed and the time to consume them.

Health Care Bill – Private Insurance Coverage – Dissembling the Information Being Given – What’s Not Told

July 28th, 2009

The eGrumps Dissembling Information of the Year Award (so far): To the House Committee  which explained why private health care insurance will still be available under the pending Obama Health Care Bill (or at least one of the pending health care bills.)

Definition: Dissemble: To hide under a false appearance; to put on the appearance : conceal facts, intentions or feelings under a false pretense. To mislead.

The present bill ” protects current coverage — allowing individuals to keep the insurance they have if they like it – and preserves choice of doctors, hospitals and health plans.” The Summary posted by the House Committees on Ways and Means, Energy and Commerce and Education and Labor – July 14, 2009.

Page 16 of the House Bill: – “…the individual health insurer offering such coverage..”  can continue to offer such coverage  provided that “the individual health insurer offering such coverage does NOT enroll any individual…” after the first day the law becomes effective.

OK – you can keep your current coverage (without any changes or modifications, if the insurance company still offers it, and you want to pay whatever the premium is at the time you renew, but you will not be able to change coverage (even if you don’t need the previous coverage), or go to any other private insurance carrier,  and if you leave a company to work for yourself you will not be able to buy individual plans from private carriers. Sooner or later, in the real world,  the only option will be the government health insurance plan.

No mention is made of Medicare, which will be drastically cut back.

Is the House Committee report misleading? In a way, I think so – the impression is given that you can get private insurance coverage if you want to, but not really – what is actually said is that your ONLY option is to keep your present coverage, no matter what the price and the coverage you now have, or go to the government insurance plan.

For example, what if your existing policy offers preganancy coverage, but because of your age, you no longer need that type of coverage. Either you keep that policy as is,  paying for coverage you don’t need or want, or go to the government coverage.

There can be no competition between private insurance carriers for your business – because you can’t enroll in a private plan with new or different coverage or with a different carrier. You can keep what you have, but that’s it. Is this clearly explained in the Committee summary?  I don’t think so. It is a classic case of dissembling information by not fully explaining what is being done.

Washington Language in Action

July 26th, 2009

Washington, D. C. July 26, 2009 (Comentary by eGrumps)

The gurus in Washington have, once again, found wondrous ways to confuse the issue by communicating with us, whom they believe to be the gullible American people, with rather strange choices of words. Words are our principal means of communication  and the Washington Press Corps seems to be suffering from laryngitis, not able to ask  questions about the meaning of some of the words. This is, however, nothing new and is hardly a fault which can be attributed to Obama’s administration – but, his is the party in power, so perhaps some questions should be asked.

1. President Obama, when commenting on le affair Gates, said he would have calibrated his words differently. Please – explain – what the heck does that mean – “calibrate”  words differently. Probably means he’s sorry he didn’t use a bigger caliber gun, or maybe a smaller caliber gun.

eGrumps award for the Most Creative Use of Language for 2009 (so far) to: Peter Orszag

2. Peter Orszag, the White House Director of the Budget, said:
     a. The House health care bill is “deficit neutral.” What is deficit neutral?  Is that like “surplus neutral?”  I think I know what he meant, but couldn’t it  have been said with a more clarity? (The Congressional Budget Office hardly says it is fiscally neutral, but what do they know.) Besides – I thought we were going to try to reduce the deficit.
      b. “That’s already baked into our fiscal trajectory.” Huh?
     c. “Bending the cost curve” Huh?

If  it is baked into the fiscal trajectory, was the cost curve bent before it went into the fiscal trajectory. Maybe it was only half-baked into the fiscal trajectory, thus allowing for future bending of the cost curve.  Don’t know. Perhaps someone should have asked what this meant. I know if he had used a larger caliber gun, the trajectory would have been different, but that’s only a semi-baked assumption.

Obama’s Major Legislative Push – (and payment)

July 19th, 2009

Washington, D. C., July 19, 2009  (eGrumps commentary)

The following major legislative pushes are now being undertaken in Washington by the Obama administration:

(1). Major Health Care Reform plan.

(2) Cap and Trade plan.

(3) Global Climate Change plan (formerlly know as Global Warming plan)

(4) Stimulus 2 Plan.

(5) Finance Plan to figure out how to pay for Items 1, 2, 3, and 4 above (not to mention how to pay for the Tarp plan and Stimulus 1 plan) without either (i)breaking President Obama’s campaign pledge that no one having an income of less than $250,000 will see his or her taxes increased or (ii) explain that he misspoke (or the teleprompter was wrong) on the 30 or 40 times he said that, and that he meant to say  $25,000, or maybe $2500 dollars,  or perhaps even $250 dollars – or more likely $2.50.

“If he really meant to say no one earning less than $2.50 would have his taxes raised, that could have been a
promise he could have kept, I think” (eGrumps)

Great Insolvent State of California Proposes Tax on Illegal Substances (marijuana and more)

July 16th, 2009

Los Angeles, CA, July 16, 2009  (Commentary by eGrumps)

Los Angeles City Councilperson Janice Hahn has proposed taxing sales of medical marijuana as a way of raising money for the Great Insolvent City of Los Angeles.

The Legislature of the Great Insolvent State of California, upon reading of this brilliant idea, has proposed going one step further. Why tax only medical marijuana, one Assemblyperson (who asked to have his/her name withheld) said “Let’s tax sales of all marijuana, and while we’re at it, lets tax meth, cocaine and all other substances that are now illegal. We can declare a fiscal emergency and make everything legal. It’s a better solution than the bankruptcy court. California is simply too big to fail.”

“We have a fiscal crisis here,” he said. “Half of you people in the Senate and Assembly are frequent users of recreational drugs, anyhow, so let’s tax them. Hell, most of you are stoned at least once each week when you come to work. Not to worry, however, we’ll exempt sales to Senators and Assemblypeople from any tax.”

Another speaker commented that it will give new meaning to the phrase “Go West, Young Man and Woman – come to California and really enjoy it. See it like you never have before.” Don’t worry about the Feds, we’ll give them a discounted price too. I predict we will have our budget balanced in six months, or sooner – after all, we are only $24 million (or is it billion?) in the red. It may be the only solution – and think what it will do to our tourist industry. It’s a win-win situation.”

He suggested a new state song – California High.

An indpendent newspaper reporter noted that in all his years of covering Sacramento, he had never seen these jerks so excited.

New Stimulus Packages Unveiled by Obama Administration

July 8th, 2009

(Washington, D.C; Moscow, Russia, July 9,2009) (exclusive to eGrumps)

In news releases handed out simultaneously to the press in Washington, D.C. and Moscow, Russia, the Obama Administration announced that they had requested Congress to enact a new bill calling for the immediate enactment of a new $2,000,000,000 Stimulus Bill and three(3) $2,000,000,000 standby Stimulus Bills.

When asked about the details of the new bills, the Administration announced that it did not matter, Congress never read the first stimulus bill before it was passed and there was no reason they should read the next stimulus bills. “Trust Me.” some anonymous Administration official said. In view of the fact no one knew his name and no one knew the contents of the new bills, they seemed like  slam-dunks for passage.

A Stimulus Czar was appointed by Executive Order, but because of fears for his(or her) safety, his(or her) name was not announced, but it was placed in a sealed envelope in the White House safe so there would be no question that he  (or she) had been appointed and the extent of his (or her) authority. “Trust us on this” another anonymous White House Official said.

Obama Renegotiates Borscht Deal with Putin

July 8th, 2009

(Moscow, July 8, 2009)(exclusive to eGrumps)

Facing widespread criticism about the perceived unfairness of the Agreement (see story posted by eGrumps on July 7, 2009) he made with Premier Putin, the Administration proudly announced its renegotiation. The new Agreement, the Administration spokesperson said, was fair to all parties and created an aura of good feelings between President Obama and Prime Minister Putin which should last for generations.

The bottom line is that Russia agreed to turn over Mrs. Putin’s secret recipe for sour cream to go with Borscht. Sour cream is a traditional add-in to Borscht. Her secret (indeed, top secret) recipe for sour cream to be used in Borscht will usher in a new feeling of peace and prosperity between our two countries.

In exchange for  this disclosure, President Obama agreed to redirect America’s spy satelite system to exclude overflights of Russia. “It’s a small price to pay,” the Administration spokesperson said, “because the information we have received has been totally useless, being filed away in the archives of our intelligence services, and we wouldn’t act on it anyhow even if anyone could interpret it correctly, which they probably can’t do, even if they wanted to.”

He went on to say, “The sour cream recipe, however, is priceless. President Obama, once again, has shown his brilliance in protecting  America’s interests. The American people will sleep better at night, having eaten Ludmia Putin’s recipe for Borscht with Sour Cream. They didn’t know about spy satelites anyhow.”


Ignorance and Apathy

July 5th, 2009

Question to eGrumps – “What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?”

eGrumps Answer – “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

A broken clock is
always right twice a day

The time has come
The walrus said.
To talk of many things.
Of shoes and ships
And sealing wax.
Of cabbages and kings.


To contact eGrumps email to: egrumps

All email will (make that "may") be grumpily responded to by eGrumps.

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